OTTAWA – As rumours swirl that the Liberal Government’s Bill C-11 will give the CRTC the power to restrict social media users’ posts for not having enough CanCon, the country’s TikTok users are getting ahead of the curve by trying to develop a dance to Gordon Lightfoot’s The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald.
“I’m proud to be Canadian and all,” said Jennica Knight, 19. “But it’s hard to develop a fun twirl or choreographed shoulder shimmy to the line ‘the lake it is said never gives up her dead.’
“Maybe if I twerk hard enough people won’t get too depressed.”
Though the song is considered a Canadian classic it’s lack of chorus, sorrowful lament and existential musing on the nature of mortality in the face of the world’s unrelentingly brutal nature has made it difficult to do cartwheels to. Many of the videos posted so far have seen the teens stop dancing part way through so they could lie on their bed and think about the people they have lost.
“I had a decent bop going when he was just describing how much ore the ship was carrying, but when he got to the part about the cook saying ‘it’s been nice to know ya’? Yeah I was done. I hope the government doesn’t shut down my account now.”
“I’m going to keep trying,” said Emma Hart, 16. “if this doesn’t work I can always switch songs to Fiddler’s Green by the Tragically Hip or Arms Of An Angel by Sarah McLachlan.”
The government has tried to step in to say this won’t be necessary as they have no interest in regulating individual users’ posts. But it wouldn’t hurt if your next insta story included at least a reference to Alice Munro.