VANCOUVER – Although the lockdown may not be fully resolved until 2021, many Canadians are already fantasizing about the trips they will take post-COVID, and the freedom that will bring from stress, uncertainty and the spouse they are currently living with.
“I can already feel the sand under my feet, the cold pina colada in my hand,” said Stacey Mackey. “But those pale in comparison to the knowledge that I am thousands of kilometres away from Steve.”
“So, so far away from Steve,” she added as her eyes closed and a blissful smile shone upon her face.
Already google searches are spiking for terms like ‘islands furthest away from each other on globe’, ‘how get away from here’ and ‘murder still crime?’
“Separate vacations used to be the domain of couples in their 60s who were too tired or catholic to just get divorced,” said travel agent Gloria Ball. “But just this week I got a call from a newly married couple in their 20s asking if I could book them separate honeymoons.”
One resort in Mexico is already jumping abroad the trend, offering a special ‘alone time’ package that comes with unlimited drinks, a king bed with one pillow and no one yelling at you to get out of the bathroom and make the kid’s lunch when you just need a goddamn minute to yourself, ok Brenda!
Meanwhile the hottest post-quarantine trend for people currently living alone will be hugging strangers on the subway while crying.
