Markham, ON — Local mother Wendy Reese has confirmed allegations that the most recent gift she gave to her daughter Sarah Reese was, in fact, initially purchased for herself.
The item in question, a nail polish in a hot pink colour called “Koala Bear-y”, was deemed by Mrs. Reese “too funky” for her to wear and thus passed on to the younger Reese.
In her confession, Mrs. Reese admitted to having given Sarah similar gifts in the past. Examples included clothes inevitably deemed too young, tankinis deemed too revealing, and notebooks with pretty covers that, in her words, “it would be a shame if no one ever used them.”
When asked for comment on why she continues to foist these items onto her daughter, Mrs. Reese denied the suggestion that she is attempting to live vicariously through her daughter’s youth.
For her part, Sarah isn’t too bothered by being the benefactor of her mother’s shopping addiction. “I mean it’s kind of weird because all of it is clearly for her,” explained Sarah, “like, she once gave me this really expensive anti-aging wrinkle cream. I’m 18. Another time she just wrapped up a bottle of estrogen pills and put in on my bed. But, I could never afford any of this stuff, so it’s kind of cool.”
“Oh, the stuff I give her isn’t that bad,” insisted Mrs. Reese. “You should see the crap I offload on to her sister-in-law.”
At press time, Sarah was carting another load of her mother’s “gifts” off to the local Salvation Army.
