TORONTO – Eric Bromley, a learned internationalist who clearly holds himself too sophisticated for such parochial pursuits as hockey or basketball, settled down to enjoy an English Premier …
Tag: World Cup
Canada discovers paying millions to host World Cup easier than getting there by being good at soccer
OTTAWA – Canada has discovered a new way for its team to qualify for the World Cup: paying millions of dollars to host the event. The joint bid from Canada, the United States and Mexico to …
“Italy didn’t qualify for the World Cup because you’re too skinny,” claims Nonna
WOODBRIDGE, ON – After an aggregate 1-0 loss to Sweden in the playoff stages of World Cup qualifying, one Nonna seems to have the answer to explain the nation’s first qualification failure …
Pan Am Games rebrands as ‘World Cup’ to boost interest
TORONTO—Just two weeks before the opening of the 2015 Pan American games in Toronto, organizers have unveiled a new marketing strategy designed to generate greater interest in the games by re-nam…
World Cup stadium labourer in Qatar wishes he could also resign
DOHA – Following the resignation of FIFA president Sepp Blatter, Bangladeshi migrant worker Sumon Saha announced that he would like to be able to do the same thing and leave his job buildin…
WORLD CUP FINAL: German efficiency trumps whatever Argentina is known for
RIO DE JANEIRO – With a narrowly scored last-minute goal, the German World Cup team’s efficient and relentless play has triumphed over Argentina’s style, which was probably hot or spicy or …
Report: bleak reality waiting on other side of World Cup finals
BRASILIA – With the World Cup finals only hours away, the planet is slowly coming to the realization that the return to the blend of despair and panic that characterizes their ordinary, hol…
Exiled Nazis conflicted over Germany-Argentina World Cup matchup
RIO DE JANEIRO – The surviving members of Argentina’s once-extensive Nazi war criminal community find themselves torn over whom to cheer for in Sunday’s World Cup final between their adopted home…
Angela Merkel calls on Brazil to stop importing German goals
BELO HORIZONTE – In the wake of Germany’s 7-1 World Cup semifinal trouncing of Brazil, Angela Merkel called on Brazil to cut back on its importation of German goals. “This sort of imbalance…
Neymar injures 4th vertebrae after helping father carry heavy bags of cash
São Paulo, BRAZIL – Brazilian football sensation Neymar suffered another setback yesterday after the forward injured his fourth vertebrae helping his father carry large bags of cash. Neymar…
