TORONTO – After another quarter of rapid growth and impressive profits, Amazon’s CEO Jeff Bezos has announced the company must immediately do another round of layoffs. The announcemen…
Tag: work
Editorial: All I wanted for Christmas is you hitting your performance goals
TORONTO – Hey, thanks for jumping on this call. I’m just going to go ahead and record, if that’s ok, thanks. I wanted to put this 1:1 in your calendar during the awkward three days between…
Ethical store only overworks employees without anyone to spend holidays with
SMITHS FALLS, ON ― In an attempt to assuage customers’ consciences and boost last-minute Christmas Eve sales, local handmade clothing store, The Silver Thread, has announced that they will not fo…
Employee appreciation lunch features cheapest food possible
KINGSTON, ON – Last Friday, a local company held their annual Employee Appreciation Lunch and celebrated their hardworking staff by proudly serving the cheapest food possible. The BBQ event took…
Mark Carney celebrates Labour Day by ordering labourers back to work
OTTAWA – Employees of Whiteston Manufacturing who were told they were receiving a special Labour Day surprise at the factory today were delighted when that surprise turned out to be Prime M…
New employee quits over fun fact pressure
EDMONTON – ABS Innovations newest hire quit today citing the immense psychological strain from the pressure of having to deliver a sufficiently “fun” fact about herself in her first week. M…
Man fights male loneliness epidemic with mandatory Microsoft Teams meetings
CHARLOTTETOWN – Insurance manager Percy Gotell says he’s found a cure to the male loneliness epidemic. The social phenomenon was named when mental health experts noticed rising levels of lo…
“I didn’t get that job because I have a dick!” says man who just is a dick
CALGARY – Local man Peter Johnson claims he was rejected from a job he applied for because he has a dick, when sources confirm that he is, in fact, simply a dick. “They’re discriminating against …
Office funny guy lives in fear another coworker will discover Comedy Bang Bang
New Westminster, BC – Local data analyst Mack Watson, known around work as the office funny guy, is hiding a secret behind his water cooler witticisms – his entire sense of humour comes fr…
Breaking: Coworker who gave entire office Covid promoted for never taking a day off
HAMILTON, ON ― Inside sources report that your boss soon plans to announce a major promotion for Nathan Crane, a coworker currently working the same position as you. A significant factor in the …
