OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reportedly left his fifth as of yet unanswered voicemail offering to “throw his weight” behind the presidential campaign of US Democra…
Tag: USA
Aides explaining to confused Trudeau how unpopular leader dropped re-election bid
OTTAWA – Aides to Prime Minister Trudeau have reportedly spent several hours attempting to explain how Joe Biden, a similarly left-leaning incumbent with low polling numbers, actually willi…
Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old
WASHINGTON DC – With Joe Biden announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald Trump’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectu…
UNPRECEDENTED: Aging boomer retires to free up job for someone younger
WASHINGTON DC — In a move that has shocked employees around the world, Joe Biden announced today that he would be stepping out of the presidential race, making it the first time in recorded histo…
Supreme Court rules Trump can and probably should shoot someone on 5th Avenue
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a 6-3 ruling, the United States Supreme Court ruled that former President Donald Trump not only has full immunity from prosecution for any gun murders he might commit, …
Supreme Court issues token reasonable ruling
WASHINGTON, DC ―As part of their ongoing mission to fool ridiculously gullible centrists into thinking that their rulings are rooted in respectable legal theory and not right-wing dogma, the Supr…
Trump clarifies abortion stance as “whatever will convince you, personally, to vote for me”
PALM BEACH, FL – In a video statement taped at his Mar-a-Lago country club, former President Trump assured voters that his firmly held stance on abortion is also whatever stance will create…
Republicans claim Taylor Swift part of vast liberal conspiracy to make Americans watch football
KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to …
Local intellectual pumped to spend two weeks saying, “Um, I think you mean American Thanksgiving”
VANCOUVER – Local genius and free thinker Andy Hammond is amped to spend the next several weeks reminding his American friends and relatives that the holiday they are about to celebrate in …
Florida student arrested after accidentally using wrong gender articles in Spanish class
LAKE CITY, FL ― A 10th-grade student has been taken into custody after she asked a friend to borrow “una bolígrafo” despite having been clearly taught that pens are male and should only be refere…