The Edmonton Oilers suck. And not just how they’ve usually sucked for most of our lives. This was a team considered to be a Stanley Cup favourite by every NHL analyst who forgot that goalte…
Tag: Toronto maple leafs
“The wisest people are those that admit when they are wrong,” says man ready to acknowledge that William Nylander is good
TORONTO – Local man Mark Williamson has found the courage within himself to admit that, despite his previous claims, William Nylander is actually one of the best players on the Maple Leafs.…
You fucking Leafs fans still think I’m the worst Defenceman you’ve ever seen?
By Justin Holl Well well well, look how quickly that shit fucking changed didn’t it you platinum seat suit wearing fucks? For the past 3 years all I’ve heard from you Wendel Clark lov…
Should the Leafs be worried about Auston Matthews’ assist drought?
TORONTO – Hockey insiders are starting to raise alarm bells about Auston Matthews inability to put up assists early in the 2023-2024 NHL season. “Yeah yeah it’s early, but 0 ass…
“The Leafs re-signing their best player is bad for them actually,” says brilliant hockey sage
TORONTO – The Leafs and franchise centre Auston Matthews have agreed to a 4 year, 53 million dollar contract extension in a move that numerous experts on twitter and reddit believe has doom…
Canadian NHL teams ranked by how furious I would be if they win a Cup before the Leafs
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Leafs fan only wants most talented player in franchise history to re-sign if it’s at a discount
TORONTO – Demoralized and frustrated by the team’s lack of playoff success, Toronto Maple Leafs fan Mark Montrose says that if Hart, Rocket and Lindsay award winner Auston Matthews is…
Winners and Losers of the 2023 NHL draft based on the 5 minutes of research I did right before it started
Another first round of the NHL draft has come and gone. And if there is one thing we know about selecting a bunch of 18 year olds to play professional hockey for our teams 1-4 years down the line…
Report: There are now more bidders to buy the Ottawa Senators than there are fans of the Ottawa Senators
OTTAWA – Analysts tracking the ever growing list of actors, singers and the usual shady billionaires who want to buy the Ottawa Senators have concluded that they now outnumber the people wh…
Leafs fans sick of current ‘good but not good enough’ team going to love return of ‘we suck and our front office is chaos’ era
TORONTO – With Kyle Dubas out as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs just weeks before crucial decisions have to be made about key players Auston Matthews and William Nylander, the fanbase is div…