MIAMI – Controversial online men’s influencer Andrew Tate, as well as his brother Tristan, is gradually realizing that the elite new manosphere club he has been ushered into is in fac…
Tag: Prison
Blurred Zoom background fails to conceal that coworker is in jail
TORONTO – Employees at a local software firm were surprised yesterday when one of their colleagues attempted to use Zoom’s “blur my background” feature to hide the fact he is currently inca…
Inventor of the children’s toy Slime thrown in jail for 34 consecutive life sentences
LOS ANGELES – Chemist/Toy Inventor George Earnshaw, the inventor of the children’s toy Slime, has been sentenced to 34 consecutive life sentences for ruining countless lives and rugs around…
Jailed Ottawa protestors offer to co-run prison with warden
OTTAWA, ON – Several arrested protestors from the downtown occupation have offered to co-run the prison where they are being held. The prisoners have released a “Declaration of Understandin…
Local prisoner practices social distancing by escaping
Bath, ON – In an effort to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 virus, prison inmate Geoff Rogers has taken necessary measures to distance himself from others by escaping from the Millhaven I…
Local badass only washes hands for 15 seconds
VANCOUVER – Resident troublemaker James Bryant rocked the health-and-hygiene world yesterday when he announced he had been washing his hands for only 15 seconds at a time, a full 5 seconds …
Virus enters man without consent
RIKERS ISLAND, NY – Jailed rapist Harvey Weinstein has claimed that the novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19 has penetrated his body without his consent. Tests have confirmed the presence…
Elizabeth May shivs biggest, meanest guy in holding cell
BURNABY, B.C. – Emergency crews have been called to the Burnaby RCMP station amid scattered reports that Green Party leader Elizabeth May has shivved the biggest guy in lock-up following her arre…
Prison & Politics: Episode 5
The great prison hooch debate continues.…
Prison & Politics: Episode 4
High time for prison electoral reform?…
