TORONTO – Showing once again his keen mind for policy, Doug Ford has promised that destroying the Ontario Greenbelt will finally allow the kind of oil pipeline development that Canada has b…
Tag: Pipeline
Trudeau aims for pipeline accord by Freaky Friday-ing Alberta, B.C.
OTTAWA — In an effort to secure the construction of the Trans Mountain oil pipeline, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has engineered a magical “body switch” on the provinces of Alberta and Bri…
Notley assures BC that in event of pipeline leak, Alberta will pay its utmost respects
EDMONTON – In an effort to quell BC’s concerns over expansion of the Trans Mountain Pipeline, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley has promised the BC government that any oil spill or leak will re…
Elizabeth May shivs biggest, meanest guy in holding cell
BURNABY, B.C. – Emergency crews have been called to the Burnaby RCMP station amid scattered reports that Green Party leader Elizabeth May has shivved the biggest guy in lock-up following her arre…
Conservative Santa promises bad children will get coal, good ones bitumen
EDMONTON – In a rare public statement on Friday, Conservative Santa announced he would be replacing the traditional stocking stuffers of candy canes and mini-snickers with more family-frien…
Shocked Trans Mountain pipeline sees Justin Trudeau and environment holding hands in restaurant
OTTAWA – The Trans Mountain pipeline was shocked to discover Justin Trudeau on a date with the environment yesterday evening, after the Prime Minister had just hours earlier told it that he…
Indigenous Games interrupted by pipeline construction
TORONTO – The North American Indigenous Games, billed as the largest sports and cultural gathering of Indigenous people on the continent, was put on hold today, as crews arrived unannounced to br…
Typical centrist: Emmanuel Macron is already trying to build pipelines in BC
Well that didn’t take long. Just weeks after getting elected President of France, centrist politician and, duh, former banker Emmanuel Macron has been spotted in the interior of BC, burying lengt…
Catholics beaten by police during protest over Vatican Access pipeline
VATICAN CITY – After months of mounting tensions over the proposed Vatican Access pipeline, police have begun openly attacking the Catholic protesters, using vicious dogs, rubber bullets, a…
Standing Rock nervously counting days until white protester puts on headdress
STANDING ROCK, ND – As protests against the Dakota Access Pipeline head into winter and state aggression persists, Standing Rock Sioux water protectors brace for yet another problem – the s…
