WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.President Donald Trump has announced that Canada’s decision to recognize Palestinian statehood will “make it very hard for us to make a Trade Deal with them, which I h…
Tag: Mark Carney
Home prices plummet from ‘not a fucking chance’ to ‘look into buying for 5 seconds before giving up’ levels
“If prices keep falling we could even get to ‘talk to your bank and get quickly laughed out of the room’ levels. We haven’t been that low since 2019!” Luke and the P…
Western World to recognize Palestine as a state in September if it’s still there
PARIS/LONDON/OTTAWA – The governments of France, the UK and Canada have said they will do what’s morally right and recognize Palestine’s right to exist as a nation as early as September, pr…
Mark Carney seeks to reach young Canadians by delivering speech in form of rap
OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadian…
Carney guarantees that his policies will transform Canada into four corporations in a trench coat
“It’ll be an economic miracle!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Craig Fay) talk the government’s attempt to consult with Indigenous Peoples about Bill C-5 after the …
Cottage Country summit stalls as premiers clash over who is next in line to ride inner tube
MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
Canada: “We are prepared to issue as many empty statements as necessary to stop this genocide”
OTTAWA – Two months after issuing one statement promising “concrete actions” if Israel did not stop intentionally starving Palestinians in Gaza, Canada has joined with 24 other nations to i…
Poilievre bonds with Alberta farmer constituent by asking if he’s seen the latest Tim Pool video
“Forget about the price of cattle for a sec, check out how he owns this blue-haired chick.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) speculate about what s…
Poilievre worried there won’t be enough government left for him to cut
“Save some for me Mark!” Luke and the Panel (Nile Séguin and Clare Blackwood) break down Mark Carney enacting spending cuts that even Harper wouldn’t dream of, and then dive int…
Carney confident government can meet spending cut goals as long as they make life a little worse for every Canadian
OTTAWA – Mark Carney has unveiled an “ambitious” plan to cut government spending by 7.5% next year, and 15% by 2029, figures he truly believes his government can manage as long …
