TORONTO – Following Toronto Police Chief Mark Saunders’ announcement that he has chosen to step down, the city’s Police Services Board has announced that they are seeking a bold new l…
Tag: john tory
6 ways to shift blame when people spot you in those Trinity Bellwoods photos
Look, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we text the wrong person, or we miss an appointment, or we congregate with a crowd of thousands in the midst of a pandemic, contributing to the spread of a d…
Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax
Luke and the Panel (Alex Huntley, Alice Moran, Diana McCallum) talk elections! The Canadian municipal elections went mostly as expected with Tory being re-elected (1:30), but also contained some …
Polls indicate Toronto mayoral frontrunner is Doug Ford wearing John Tory’s face as a mask
TORONTO – As residents head to the polls this morning, all signs suggest that the city’s new mayor is likely to be Doug Ford wearing John Tory’s face as a mask. Polling data suggests the Ford-Tor…
John Tory stunned to learn he can’t send butler to vote for him
TORONTO — As Torontonians head to the polls, Mayor John Tory is reportedly shocked that he cannot send his butler, Reginald Percy Shillingsworth, to cast his ballot for him. “What? You expe…
Affordable housing: John Tory promises to build one giant detached home for all of Toronto’s poor
TORONTO – Showing a bold new vision for the 2018 mayoral race, John Tory has announced plans to build Toronto’s underprivileged a giant two-bathroom, forty-eight-thousand-bedroom house in t…
If re-elected, Tory promises to increase flooding until Toronto a gondola-filled Venice of the North
TORONTO – With the mayoral election less than a month away, John Tory is running on his record of turning Toronto into a stormwater-flooded city of breathtaking waterways. “Imagine it,” sai…
Trinity Bellwoods Park introduces bottle service
TORONTO – In partnership with Smirnoff Citrus TM one of Toronto’s most popular parks to get totally hammered in, Trinity Bellwoods, is implementing bottle service at all its picnic tables. “For y…
John Tory steps up Toronto’s Amazon bid by becoming the first person to watch all of Mozart in the Jungle
TORONTO – Amidst reports that Ontario’s capital has been selected as one of the top 20 locations for Amazon’s new headquarters, mayor John Tory has proven there’s nothing he won’t do for his city…