CALGARY – Reports coming from inside the Goodlife changing room on Heritage Meadows Way are indicating that work friend turned squash partner David Cook has a lot more hair on his back, sho…
Tag: Gym
Woman at gym can’t find a non-weird place to do glute bridges.
KINGSTON, ON – Local fitness enthusiast Rebecca Lee is currently on her third lap around the gym, hoping against hope she’ll find a place to do glute bridges without an audience. “I’m not s…
Woman at front of water fountain line filling 200-litre oil drum
Burnaby, BC – Citing the extraordinarily long line-up she had caused, patrons of a local GoodLife Fitness Center recently expressed annoyance at a woman using the location’s only water fountain t…
Man riding elliptical like it killed his family
SUDBURY, ON – Grunting audibly as the machine threatened to topple under his force, local man, Jeremy Gaston, 36, was seen riding an elliptical runner at a nearby gym this week in a way tha…
Alberta’s broke corporations, unions glad they no longer have to give political donations
EDMONTON – Alberta’s cash-strapped unions and corporations are finally getting some relief after Premier Rachel Notley announced they will be prohibited from making donations to political p…
Health Canada allows gay men to donate blood so long as they go straight for a year
OTTAWA – Minister of Health Jane Philpott has announced that the federal government will be lifting the restriction on gay men’s blood donation so long as they have been heterosexual for th…
Man at gym takes off shirt to show bulging biceps on third arm
TORONTO – In a show of machismo earlier this morning, local man Kyle Dresden removed his shirt while working out so that he could unfold the third arm from behind his back and show off its …
Vince Carter skips NBA All-Star tribute to attend master’s graduation ceremony
TORONTO, ON — Vince Carter has decided to attend his master’s graduation ceremony instead of NBA All Star tribute, because “it’s the most Vinsanity thing to do.” “It was my dream to slam du…
Bill Blair wins Liberal candidacy after kettling nomination meeting
TORONTO – Former Toronto police chief Bill Blair has won the Liberal Party nomination in the riding of Scarborough Southwest after kettling the nomination meeting. Saying that it was the mo…
CSIS oversight committee moves into new quarters at YMCA
OTTAWA – Responsible for overseeing the newly expanded powers of the Canadian spy agency CSIS, the Security Intelligence Review Committee has just moved into a 240 square-foot office comple…