OTTAWA – Local hypocrite Kai Green has expressed his support for Ottawa police writing tickets for truckers who are making life miserable for residents by honking all day and night, despite…
Tag: Facebook
Metastatic cancer worried people will start associating it with Facebook
MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…
Wow! That guy who used to play the choking game when no one else wanted to is selling an air conditioner on Facebook
GUELPH, ON – Hey, remember Alex, that guy who always used to play the choking game (aka cutting off oxygen to the brain with the goal of inducing loss of consciousness/euphoria) when everyo…
Cutting edge Facebook app lets you attend VR-meetings that should’ve been e-mails
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensi…
Adorable! This boy found a bird with a broken wing, nursed it back to health, and then explained to it what NFTs are
OWEN SOUND, ON – A heartwarming scene unfolded earlier this week when nine-year-old Billy Simmons rescued a chickadee that had fallen out of its nest and gave it a crash course on non-fungible to…
5 ways to spot which Facebook friend is about to post a think piece on why “Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic trap”
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and so is the looming threat of a Facebook post by that friend of yours who needs you to know that you’re scum for celebrating Valentine’s Day! We all k…
As Google threatens to leave Australia, AskJeeves rebrands as “What’s the John Dory, Jeevo”
CANBERRA, AU – As a result of the ongoing dispute between Google and the Australian government over the News Media Bargaining Code, formerly defunct search engine AskJeeves re-emerged on th…
“WHAT’S IN THE VACCINE?” says man who doesn’t know what’s in his fridge
Barrie, ON – A local man unaware of the contents of his own refrigerator is demanding to know what is in the COVID-19 vaccine. Justin Travers, 34, is extremely concerned about the contents of the…
Twitter suspends Trump’s Twitter account after waking up from four-year coma
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a violent mob of his supporters who stormed the Uni…
Poet takes road less travelled by, dies
BANFF, AB – Tragedy struck yesterday after poet Gregory Prince was found dead in the woods several kilometres off a popular hiking trail. Prince had been missing for several days after artistical…