MENLO PARK, CA – After disappointing results in the latest quarter, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg sent out a notice to his workforce that the company is expelling 11,000 employees from corporeal…
Tag: Facebook
New Grand Theft Auto game allows players to make website that rates women, destabilizes democracy for profit
NEW YORK – Rockstar Games has announced their next instalment of the successful Grand Theft Auto video game series will allow players to create a website that rates the attractiveness of wo…
Conservative Leadership Candidate Profile: Pierre Poilievre
Background: Poilievre was born wearing a suit, glasses and a sneer. He immediately used his first words to tell the doctor who delivered him everything she had done wrong. He subsequently studied…
Two-year pandemic officially longest relationship of woman’s life
Mississauga, ON – This week marks a major milestone in local woman Caitlyn Donahue’s life, as she celebrates two years of the COVID-19 pandemic – A.K.A. the longest relationship of her life. “I w…
Total hypocrite! This man doesn’t want police to violently attack homeless but does want them to ticket convoy holding city hostage
OTTAWA – Local hypocrite Kai Green has expressed his support for Ottawa police writing tickets for truckers who are making life miserable for residents by honking all day and night, despite…
Metastatic cancer worried people will start associating it with Facebook
MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…
Wow! That guy who used to play the choking game when no one else wanted to is selling an air conditioner on Facebook
GUELPH, ON – Hey, remember Alex, that guy who always used to play the choking game (aka cutting off oxygen to the brain with the goal of inducing loss of consciousness/euphoria) when everyo…
Cutting edge Facebook app lets you attend VR-meetings that should’ve been e-mails
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensi…
Adorable! This boy found a bird with a broken wing, nursed it back to health, and then explained to it what NFTs are
OWEN SOUND, ON – A heartwarming scene unfolded earlier this week when nine-year-old Billy Simmons rescued a chickadee that had fallen out of its nest and gave it a crash course on non-fungible to…
5 ways to spot which Facebook friend is about to post a think piece on why “Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic trap”
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and so is the looming threat of a Facebook post by that friend of yours who needs you to know that you’re scum for celebrating Valentine’s Day! We all k…