Oakville, ON – Local man Nicholas Burnaby says that, as a homeowner, he would be happy to see any solution implemented that helps people afford to buy and rent necessary housing as long as …
Tag: climate change
Forest fires across Canada kick off annual Dystopian Hellscape season
QUEBEC CITY – From orange skies at midday and the hacking cough of ash-filled lungs, to hectares of scorched forest and the eerie lingering odour of “downtown ghost campfire,” the familiar …
How to protect yourself from the pollutants in wildfire smoke
Smoke from fires in Ontario, Quebec and Alberta has made their way into cities, where residents are reporting a campfire smell and hazy quality to the atmosphere. Unfortunately this haze carries …
Desperate Nova Scotians sacrifice Theodore Tugboat to raging wildfire
HALIFAX – As multiple wildfires continue to burn across the province, Nova Scotians have decided as a last-ditch effort to sacrifice beloved life-sized children’s character Theodore Tugboat…
How to enjoy “unseasonably warm” days without dreading inevitable doom
Ottawa, ON — As spring unfolds with unprecedented warmth, Canadians might wonder how they can enjoy nice weather, while also understanding it’s a sign that our climate is hurling toward uninhabit…
Fluffy dog forced to wear fall sweater is fucking burning up
CALGARY – Despite the unseasonably warm fall weather rolling through Western Canada, 4-year-old Pomeranian mix Sandy has been dressed in a sweater simply because it’s ‘just so dang adorable…
Leaders assure world they have climate change plan to save themselves and that’s all
WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Back To The Future remake sees Marty go back to 1992, buy house
HOLLYWOOD, CA – A newly-announced reboot of the classic 80s sci-fi comedy Back To The Future will reportedly center on a teen who travels back 30 years to 1992, and purchases a home for und…
US Supreme Court rules Environmental Protection Agency’s powers do not extend to protecting environment
WASHINGTON — The US Supreme Court has struck down the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ability to limit greenhouse pollution from power plants, arguing that protecting the environment does…
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
OTTAWA – In the wake of a leaked decision overturning Roe v. Wade, Canadian Conservatives are promising Canadians that they won’t seek to enact the abortion bans soon to be forthcomin…
