Amidst a war in Ukraine, high cost of living and the return of Tim Hortons Roll Up The Rim, Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland has tabled the second budget of her tenure. Let’s take a look …
Tag: Chrystia Freeland
Cheryl Gallant claims statement that ‘Liberals are a Satanic pedophile ring that bathes in the blood of children’ was taken out of context
OTTAWA – Conservative MP Cheryl Gallant said today that her recent claim about Liberals being part of a global pedophilia ring that uses their blood as soap was a “simple misunderstan…
Federal government to get a second job to cover deficit
OTTAWA – The federal Liberal government announced it will be getting a second job to cover the $381 billion deficit projected in yesterday’s fall economic update. Vowing that no Canadian wi…
Liberal fiscal update confirms “Shit’s Fucked”
OTTAWA – Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland unveiled the Liberal fiscal update this afternoon and, as expected, things are fucked. Big time fucked. “9 months into this pandemic cases …
Trudeau excited to discover what old-timey nickname Biden will give him
OTTAWA – After calling President-elect Biden to congratulate him on winning the election, Prime Minister Trudeau is said to be looking forward to Biden bestowing upon him a fun nickname tha…
Rent luckily winding down the same time as CERB
OTTAWA – With millions still out of work due to the global pandemic, the federal government is stopping the $2000 Canadian Emergency Response Benefit after learning that rent would also be …
Gender-balanced cabinet forces woman to work two jobs
OTTAWA – A gender-balanced cabinet is now requiring a woman to work two jobs after a male employee left his post for higher pursuits. Chrystia Freeland, the Deputy Prime Minister, has been …
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
Experts warn new NAFTA deal could put thousands of op-ed writers out of work
OTTAWA – As the Trudeau government celebrated saving the country’s free trade deal with America and Mexico, experts were already warning that the renewed agreement could devastate the burge…
Canada doesn’t care about being left out of NAFTA talks, has cooler, more fun trade negotiation to go to anyway
OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland issued an official statement today that Canada is in no way threatened by the successful bilateral negotiations between the US and Mexico…
