ABBOTSFORD, BC — Father-of-two Allen Marks was caught off-guard when he found himself suddenly gripped by white-knuckled horror while taking his children, Angie and Michelle, back-to-school shopp…
Tag: back-to-school
Students spend first day back decorating body bags for grandparents
MISSISSAUGA – In a back to school activity designed to teach about actions having consequences, students spent the afternoon decorating body bags for their grandparents. The art activity wa…
Parents relieved to send kids back to school for 3 weeks before they shut down again
TORONTO – Parents across most of the country were glad to get a small vacation from their school-aged children before they’re sent back due to more COVID-19 outbreaks. “I love my kids, but …
Ontario Ministry of Education promises new math curriculum will help students calculate their chances of survival
TORONTO — As schools prepare to reopen for the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic began, the Ontario Ministry of Education has assured students and teachers that the newly revised math curric…
Ontario government announces plan to blame the feds if school reopening plan goes wrong
TORONTO – The Ontario government announced its new plan to blame the federal government in the event that their plan to reopen schools during a pandemic backfires. “Parents will know that i…
Homeschooled child not looking forward to going back-to-home
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Dreading the end of summer vacation, a local homeschooled child reported that she’s not looking forward to going back to her own house and starting grade 5. Rachel Moore, 1…
Nation’s loser children try to convince themselves that this school year will be different
KINGSTON, ON – As students across the country gear up for the back-to-school season, the nation’s dweebs, nerds and uglies are preparing for the worst, while hoping – against all reason …
Mr. Dickerson deeply regrets letting that first student call him ‘The Dick’
WHATELY, AB – In a failed attempt to build a casual, respectful rapport with his students, newly hired grade 8 teacher, Mark Dickerson, regrets allowing that one kid in his class to nicknam…
Top 5 back-to-school wines for teachers
The school year is just beginning, which means that it’s time for teachers across the nation to restock their secret caches of wine. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by the hundreds of choices!…