Campus police warn of ‘sicko’ targeting women’s laundry
TORONTO – Residents living at York University campus and the surrounding area have been warned by campus police to keep vigilant after reports that a sick, sick individual is lurking in cam…
Maschismo exhibited by eating hot sauce
EAST YORK, ON – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends at an East-End Mr. Sub by asking for hot sauce on his sandwich, sources reported yesterday. “He was like, ‘No man, throw some h…
Jimmy’s Web Site Company to drop support for IE6 browser
KITCHENER, ON – Web analysts have been in a frenzy following a report that Jimmy’s Web Site Company will be dropping support for Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6.0 in the coming weeks. The m…
Mars society treated to rare thrill
CALGARY – Members of the Mars Society of Canada were treated to a rare thrill this morning when our red neighbour came closer to the Earth than it has in 60 000 years. At its closest point …
Messier a LEGO man
A startling discovery is sending shockwaves through the NHL after it was revealed that Mark Messier is a LEGO man. A statement released last Wednesday by the NHL accuses Danish toy giant LEGO of …
Ex-girlfriends reunites with ex-boyfriend using emoticons
GUELPH, ON – A failed relationship was given another chance late last night when three emoticons were used symbolically during an instant messaging conversation. Following a three hour on-line ch…
Girlfriend breaks up with boyfriend using emoticons
GUELPH, ON – An eight week relationship ended abruptly last Sunday evening when three emoticons were used symbolically during an instant messaging conversation. Following a two hour on-line…
