NRA suggests nation’s kindergarteners bring their assault rifles to class
WASHINGTON – In the wake of the second deadliest school shooting in US history at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., the National Rifle Association has recommended that every single e…
Stranded soul of Christopher Hitchens skeptical of own existence
HOUSTON, TX – After passing one year ago today while undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer, the wandering ethereal remains of author and staunch skeptic Christopher Hitchens continues …
F-35 Jets: How did they get so expensive? (INFOGRAPHIC)
The Harper government is considering scrapping a deal to buy a fleet of F-35 jets from American manufacturer Lockheed-Martin due to ballooning costs. Latest reports by an independent auditor plac…
Marc Garneau unveils platform: I’ve been to space, motherfucker!
TORONTO – Liberal leadership candidate Marc Garneau revealed his plans for the Nation’s future yesterday, unveiling a platform entitled “I’ve been to space, motherfucker!” Despite ini…
Santa lays off hundreds of elves, blames Obamacare
NORTH POLE – Santa Claus, the perennial bringer of Christmas joy, laid off 244 worker elves yesterday, while slashing hours and benefits to those who remain, citing costs of the Obamacare m…
Ikea Monkey admits that he is not a real news story
TORONTO – Darwin, the seven-month old Rhesus monkey apprehended at the North York Ikea yesterday evening has come forward to say that he regrets causing a “literal media circus.” Darwin was…
BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms
NEW YORK – The NHLPA suffered a serious blow today as Pittsburgh Penguins’ forward Sidney Crosby told reporters he will be out indefinitely after experiencing concussion-like symptoms. The …
As winter recess approaches, supreme court judges prepare to hibernate
OTTAWA – Having written their last judgement and heard their final appeal for the year, the nine honourable members of Canada’s highest court spent last week preparing to enter their …
