Patriotic Canadians rejoice at thousands of other Canadians losing Target jobs
SAINT JOHN – Canadians from all corners of the country are expressing relief and pride that the American discount retailer Target is closing all stores in Canada leaving 21,000 other Canadi…
Canada remembers diverse group of English, Anglo-Saxon, Caucasian, and Scottish men who founded the nation
OTTAWA – In celebration of Canadian heritage, the nation honours the progressive, multiculturalism of the fathers of confederation who ranged from fair-skinned Englishmen to the pasty-white…
‘Freedom of speech is dead’ declares local man after newspaper fails to publish Charlie Hebdo cartoons
HAMILTON – When the New York Times opted not to publish Charlie Hebdo’s latest cover, self-styled free speech advocate John Blunt knew that free speech, as we know it, was dead. “How can our soci…
SPONSORED CONTENT: Redeem favourable media coverage under the new RBC rewards program
BY: AMANDA LANG, CBC’s SENIOR BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT RBC values their customers. To show their appreciation, they are now offering RBC Rewards members the ability to redeem favourable media…
Adam Smith’s invisible hand files for disability benefits
EDINBURGH – After 250 years of its suffering going unseen, Adam Smith’s invisible hand has decided to seek help and file for disability benefits. “I tried to solve my own problems, I really did,”…
Mercilessly boring truck-driving simulation game scares generation of kids into academic success
MARKHAM – Cross Country Canada, a computer studies game that gave kids the virtual experience of being a truck driver delivering cargo across the country, is being celebrated for effectivel…
Paternity test confirms Sir John A actual Father of Confederation, owes billions in child support
OTTAWA – DNA tests has confirmed Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, is the Father of Confederation after 148 years of denial and unpaid child support. Queen Victoria said…
World Leaders march in Paris to defend their exclusive right to suppress journalists
PARIS – Dozens of World Leaders joined yesterday’s Charlie Hebdo solidarity march to send a message to terrorists that intimidation of media will not be tolerated, unless they are the ones doing …
French terrorists disappointed to discover satire doesn’t die
PARIS – With French authorities tracking them down, the gunmen who attacked a satirical news office were disheartened to discover that satire – and all other forms of gags, antics and…
