The Beaverton

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The Beaverton is a news satire and parody publication . All articles contained within this website, however similar to real events, are fictitious. When public figures are mentioned by name, the …


Pedestrian not sure if defecated on by bird

TORONTO – A man walking west on Bloor Street near Spadina Ave. believes a pigeon may have defecated on his cheek and right shoulder earlier this morning, but he is unsure. “Could have been …


I am a Frosh Party Animal

By Martin ‘Figs’ Figlinsky My friends, I have to tell you, this year’s frosh celebration was really awesome! The University of Toronto has really topped itself. This was by far one of…


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