PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – Following their failed rocket launch two weeks ago, North Korea’s scientists are scrapping their research and development program to concentrate on obtaining a work…
World
God can’t remember what ‘terrible’ thing He’s supposed to do this year
HEAVEN – Although He knows He’s responsible for doing something really big and terrible this year, God, Almighty Creator of the Universe, can’t remember what it is. “I kno…
Canada issues apology
NEW YORK – A Canadian representative issued an apology on behalf of Canada at a recent United Nations General Assembly meeting. The representative stood up during a heated discussion concer…
Community rallies to save $9 million cocaine factory
LOS PALOS BLANCO, VENEZUELA – The atmosphere was unusually somber today in Los Palos Blanco, a small Venezuelan community located just hours from Caracas. The normally bustling town was hit…
Chinese man sent back to China for repairs
SHENZEN, CHINA – After noticing behavioural malfunctions, a Vancouver family has sent back its father/husband unit, Lee Xiu, for repairs to a manufacturing plant in Shenzen, China. “Lee wor…
Heavy petting officially downgraded to first base
PARIS – In a long overdue move, the International Association for Getting It On has officially downgraded heavy petting to first base. The move reclassifies French Kissing as a sacrifice bu…
RCMP bust inhumane balloon animal mill
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A southern Alberta balloon animal mill has been slammed with dozens of charges under the provincial Balloon Animal Care Act for its inhumane treatment of balloon animals.…
