LEICESTER, ENGLAND – Family members of the descendants that brutally cut down King Richard III during the Battle of Bosworth Field were ecstatic to receive the 561-year-old monarch’s skeleton as …
World
Unusually quiet, slumped over Hugo Chavez sworn in as Venezuelan President
CARACAS – Despite concerns about his deteriorating health, Hugo Chavez was sworn in as Venezuela’s President in a short ceremony in which he did not speak or move around all that much. Chavez, wh…
Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi acting like he doesn’t know what’s about to happen to him
EGYPT – With history about to repeat itself a mere two years since Hosni Murabak was ousted from his presidency and sentenced to life imprisonment, current Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi …
Israel drafts 14-year-old Becky to wage Twitter, Facebook war against Hamas
JERUSALEM – The Israeli Defence Force (IDF) has drafted 14-year-old Becky Anderson to wage a social media war against enemy forces in Gaza. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu approved the …
Prince Harry outraged by nude pics of Kate, barely able to masturbate to them
LONDON – Sources within Buckingham Palace have revealed that Prince Harry, currently third in line to the throne, has been so appalled and devastated by the recently leaked pictures of sist…
Arizona woman’s uterus convicted of manslaughter after miscarriage
PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Under the state’s recently passed Women’s Health and Safety Act, an Arizona woman’s uterus was convicted of manslaughter yesterday after miscarrying 3 weeks i…
Rest of world collectively agrees that Spanish and Portuguese are basically the same language
NEW YORK – In a rare moment of near unanimity, the member states of the United Nations General Assembly came together yesterday afternoon passing a motion affirming the fundamental belief t…
Pope no longer returning God’s calls
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God, has not been returning God’s phone calls, according to Pontifical Household sources. “It’s really …
Japan shuts down last nuclear reactor not part of a giant robot
JAPAN – Japanese Environment Minister, Goshi Hosono, announced today the closure of Japan’s last nuclear plant not powering a giant robot. “Because of the Fukushima disaster, al…
