OSLO – In an exclusive interview with Norway’s NRK1, the Tooth Fairy, a magical being who is known for slipping into children’s rooms at night and leaving money in exchange for one of their…
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Summer camp cancellations deprive millions of tweens access to first-base
MUSKOKA, ON – After the news that overnight camps would be suspended this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of tweens were left heartbroken upon the realization that this would no…
Animal Cruelty Whistleblower dead after whistle attracts many bears
WHISTLER – 36-year-old animal rights whistleblower Leonard Bont was found dead after his handy “shut the fuck up and listen” whistle attracted many bears. Medics arrived on the scene too la…
Local father tries to remember not to call himself ‘daddy’ when his children aren’t around
REVELSTOKE, BC – Father of three Brian O’Shaughnessy is trying hard to scale back his habit of referring to himself as ‘Daddy’ instead of ‘Brian’ in conversations where he is not speaking d…
Democrats excited by early opportunity to tear themselves apart from within
DES MOINES, IA – The U.S. Democratic party is celebrating a rare win after a computer glitch at their Iowa primary gave them a chance to self-destruct earlier than they normally do in an el…
Internet argument less fun at dinner table
NAPIERVILLE, QC – Following a heated discussion during a family dinner about the same topics those present typically argued about online, all members of the Chernak family agreed that it la…
Meaghans standardize spelling of their name
TORONTO – Breaking through intense political gridlock, the Toronto Council of Me(a)g(h)ans struck a deal late last night to finally standardize the spelling of their name. “On behalf of M…
Incels rejoice! A Chad and Stacy have broken up
OTTAWA – The Involuntarily Celibate community received a giant boon after news that a couple comprised of both a Stacy and a Chad have broken up. With further news breaking that Chad Cunnin…
Trudeau insists he was talking about another brash, incompetent US President also named Donald Trump
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has clarified that he, and other world leaders were talking about a different US President also named Donald Trump when they were caught on…
Other parties race to reveal horrific histories of own candidates while media focused on Trudeau scandal
OTTAWA – The Greens, Conservatives and NDP are taking advantage of the media storm surrounding Justin Trudeau’s blackface and brownface scandal to release all of the skeletons from th…
