FREDERICTON, NB – Local barista Maya Reilly snuffed out the Christmas spirit last Saturday when she mistook her friend’s sweater as being part of the annual Ugly Sweater competition at thei…
Holidays
Donder and Blitzen to put career on hold for mandatory military service
NORTH POLE – Following weeks of speculation, two members of Santa’s prestigious team of reindeer have announced they are planning temporary resignation in order to undertake military …
Woman banishes malfunctioning vibrator to Island of Misfit Sex Toys
EDMONTON — Melissa Soares, frustrated with the sub-optimal aspects of her rabbit vibrator, has evicted it from her night-stand, exiling it to the Island of Misfit Sex Toys. “The gals on Sex and …
Study: Seasonal depression cured by wrapping paper scissor glides
St. Catharines, ON – In a groundbreaking study by Brock University, researchers have identified the long-awaited cure for seasonal depression: the sweet, sweet satisfaction of gliding a sha…
Spence Diamonds guarantees all holiday purchases: “If your wife doesn’t give you a blow job, Spence will!”
VANCOUVER, BC – Spence Diamonds now offers an added incentive to holiday shoppers – a customer satisfaction guarantee that if the giftee does not give head, Spence will be there to offer his. As …
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
VANCOUVER — A new brand of advent calendar made for divorced dads by Divorced Dads features one very large chocolate every other weekend to show your child that you care just as much if not more …
Freak! This guy actually enjoys fruitcakes
EDMONTON, AB – Local weirdo, Felix Bonner, 36, recently told his co-workers that despite its horrible vomit-like taste, he actually enjoys fruitcakes. “It’s just a nice blend of sweetness a…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
5 fun or cheap activities to make the most of summer, and yes, we did mean “or”
OTTAWA – The long weekend is coming up, and you’re seeking ways of maximizing your time while minimizing your expenses. But every listicle promising low-cost excitement disappoints you with…
