TORONTO – After nearly four months of isolation, a New Yorker tote bag has found itself a greater purpose outside the dusty kitchen cabinets it once called home, “future graduate student” Samuel …
Culture
Possessed doll tired of being typecast by Hollywood
LOS ANGELES – Standing in front of the posters for Child’s Play and Annabelle Comes Home at her local movie theater, Penny, a possessed doll and working actor, is unable to contain her ange…
Unimaginative Alice in Wonderland School play contains total lack of psychedelic drugs
Whitby, ON – A production of Alice in Wonderland staged at P.L. Thomas Elementary School has reportedly disappointed many audience members due to the directors and cast’s unfortunate failure to e…
Morrissey reveals The Smiths song “This Charming Man” about David Duke
LOS ANGELES – In a new interview, Morrissey has revealed that The Smiths famous hit “This Charming Man” was actually written about former Grand Wizard of the KKK, David Duke. Fans were almo…
Fans angry Game of Thrones ended with all contenders saying “good game” and slapping hands
VANCOUVER – Fans around the world are furious about the Game of Thrones series finale, which consisted of nearly eighty uninterrupted minutes of the characters congratulating each other for…
John Wick 3 Review: Is this, like, feminism?
Feminism is a collection of social and political movements with the goal of achieving equality of the genders. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum is a stylized action movie about a highly tr…
Game of Thrones writers petition fans to write their own goddamn show, if they’re so smart
HOLLYWOOD – After a petition demanding that the writers of Game of Thrones rewrite the final season received over half a million signatures this week, David Benioff and D. B. Weiss fired back wit…
Film Review: Detective Pikachu glamorizes Pokémon-on-Pokémon violence
Detective Pikachu plunges audiences into the urban fantasy of Ryme City, a metropolis populated with humans and Pokémon “coexisting peacefully,” as long as the Pokémon serve us as bartenders and …
Stranger Things plagiarism lawsuit dropped after Duffer Brothers prove they stole everything from other sources
HOLLYWOOD – A lawsuit brought by a filmmaker who alleged that the Netflix megahit show Stranger Things was based on his ideas has been withdrawn after the Duffer Brothers and Netflix were a…
Fans cheer as Avengers: Endgame brings closure to cinema as a whole
HOLLYWOOD — As Marvel Studios’ epic film Avengers: Endgame breaks box office records, fans across the world have cheered as it offers a thrilling finale to every film ever made up to this p…
