PRINCE GEORGE, BC – Members of the BC Parks Service are preparing to heat things up as they implement volunteer firefighting as an option to their camp activity calendar. “Families these da…
British Columbia
Only person not laundering money in casino loses another hand of poker
VANCOUVER – Early reports indicate that the only guy in a casino not laundering money has lost yet another round of Texas Holdem. 36-year-old Jack Hugen’s initial strategy of playing fewer …
Breaking: Cat unimpressed
KAMLOOPS, BC – After several alarming reports, we can now confirm that the Jacobs family house cat, Jojo, is not having any of it. “He won’t eat, he won’t respond to his name. He’s just kind of s…
Trudeau promises “best ever” reconciliation speech after RCMP break down Indigenous barricade for pipeline
HOUSTON, B.C. — As the RCMP arrested 14 people at the Gidimt’en camp, which is blocking access for pipeline construction, Prime Minister Trudeau pledged that his reconciliation speech…
Protesters block construction of new essential oil pipeline
BURNABY, BC – Several protesters have been arrested after chaining themselves to equipment in an effort to block further construction on Canada’s controversial essential oil pipeline. A lar…
Ruling against Trans Mountain protects Pacific coal tankers from oilsands tankers
VANCOUVER — The landmark ruling against the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion was heralded as a win for BCs massive pod of coal tankers and the people who love them. “Today we can res…
Conservative aunt remarks, “It’s just a bad year for wildfires” for fourth year in row
WHITE ROCK, B.C. – With the haze of wildfire smoke as thick as her Mary Kay smokey eye, conservative-leaning aunt, Linda Bertolucci, calmly assured her family, “It’s just a bad year for wil…
City of Victoria attempts to dispose of Sir John A statue via compost
VICTORIA – The municipality of Victoria has come across some difficulty in their attempt to be more green and compost the non-compostable metal statue of the first Prime Minister of Canada,…
Quick-thinking beachgoers save Elizabeth May trapped in plastic six ring pack
SAANICH, BC – A group of environmental do-gooders saved Green Party Leader and endangered species Elizabeth May who was found tangled in a web of six ring beer packs. “My partner and I were…
BC mulls updating singing bowl tsunami-warning system
SALT SPRING ISLAND, BC – The British Columbia government is considering updating the province’s tsunami warning system, which consists mostly of New Age white people sounding their Tibetan …
