ST. JOHNS, NF- Local father of 3 Jake O’Leary confirmed speculation that getting the turkey ready for Christmas dinner is by far the most arousing activity he has done in roughly seven years. “It…
Experts warn a US rail strike could’ve lead to shortage of hobo tall tales
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of a near walkout by the US’s railway workers, experts have advised that an industry-wide strike would’ve led to supply chain disruptions of fun but exaggerat…
Quebec Premier states province can barely discriminate against the immigrants it already has
QUEBEC CITY, QC – Premier of Quebec Francois Legault has recently asked the federal government for more support with its number of immigrants, stating the province can barely produce enough…
Canada to allow international students to work more hours to expedite exploitation
OTTAWA, ON- Canada has finally stepped into the 19th century by removing labour limits on how many hours international students are allowed to work, so that they don’t need to wait for graduation…
Coffee Time Manager going to pretend that all the spiderwebs are Halloween decorations
Owen Sound, ON – Management of a local Coffee Time has asked that all staff pretend that the cobwebs currently coating stationary objects were put there for the Halloween season, as opposed…
New Seattle Kraken mascot expected to either fight or mate with Gritty
SEATTLE, WA – Following the unveiling of Buoy, the abomination currently serving as the mascot for the Seattle Krakens, experts have been divided as to how the joyful creature will interact…
Canada shocked to find out it was once ranked the best country in the world
OTTAWA – Stupfication gripped the nation when U.S. News announced Canada had slipped from its first-place rating on their list of best countries in the world, with no Canadian really sure h…
Corgis everywhere struggling to find a new gimmick
LONDON, UK – Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the world’s corgi population is scrambling to find a new trademark to stay relevant in the global dog scene. “We’ve been trying…
Friend group excited to spend all of Nuit Blanche trying to find each other
TORONTO – With Nuit Blanche expected to return for the first time since the pandemic, a local group of buddies is excited to spend the whole event unsuccessfully trying to meet up. “It’s go…
Ontario certain they can fund gambling addiction support with money brought in from legalized gambling
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario now aiming to provide more accessible treatment options for anyone struggling with gambling addiction, the Ford government reportedly has absolute confiden…