OTTAWA – Following last week’s announcement that Maxime Bernier’s new political party will be known as the People’s Party of Canada, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has spoken out against the n…
White friend just discovered this new show called “Atlanta”
KINGSTON, ON – Local white friend Conor Armstrong announced this week that he’s recently discovered an obscure new tv show called “Atlanta” — yeah, like the city. “It’s actually pretty good…
Reinstated Ontario sex-ed curriculum polling well among sex offenders
TORONTO – Following the Ford government’s announcement that Ontario schools will revert back to the 1998 sex-ed curriculum, polls indicate the decision has been well received by the province’s re…
Immigration Minister apologizes to Ontario, admits being a dick to refugees is very Canadian
OTTAWA – After an incident in which he called Ontario’s new attitude to asylum-seekers “not Canadian” federal Immigration Minister Ahmed Hussen has issued a formal apology, admitting that treatin…
White friend just not that into politics
SCARBOROUGH – After failing to show any interest in June’s provincial election, local white friend Madison Thomas stunned no one by announcing she’s “just not that into” politics. According to so…
Heroic activists convince sexually-harassed woman to come forward by regular-harassing her
OTTAWA – New ground was broken for women in Canada this week, after a team of heroic journalists and politicians convinced a woman groped by the Prime Minister to publicly identify herself follow…
Ford vows to treat asylum seekers like his own family
QUEEN’S PARK – Facing criticism for his refusal to help resettle asylum seekers, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has pledged to treat vulnerable refugees with all the care and consideration he has show…
Andrea Horwath looking forward to continuing to have no power
HAMILTON – After securing a new position as Leader of the Official Opposition, Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath says she’s looking forward to having no power still when the provincial government…
Trump demands his staff be left in peace to eat Mexicans
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following accounts that multiple Trump officials were refused restaurant service this week, the 45th President of the United states demanded via twitter that people “leave my st…
Maxime Bernier claims he doesn’t have white privilege due to systemic bias he faces for being an asshole
OTTAWA – After a twitter confrontation in which he accused MP Celina Caesar-Chavannes of “thinking the world revolves around [her] skin colour”, former CPC leadership candidate Maxime Bernier has…