Andrey Summers, Author at The Beaverton

Glove model gets hand job

NEW YORK – Glove model Anton Kamilnik announced this morning with much excitement that he had finally received a hand job. “With the kind of proximity that they require,” said Kamilnik, “in…

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Straw man is idiot

By conservative voice of reason Dan Stapleton There’s a lot of pearl clutching by the ultra-liberal left about my supposedly controversial opinions, but it only takes a little bit of fact checkin…

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Avatar 2 delayed until after Avatar 3

LOS ANGELES – Director James Cameron has announced today that Avatar 2, the long-gestating sequel to his 2009 magnum opus, has been delayed by COVID-19 restrictions, and will not be coming …

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Introspective carpenter finds her shelf

KELOWNA, BC – Local carpenter Marybeth Dinh, 35, who left her accounting job in Vancouver to escape from the rat race into the picturesque BC interior, announced to friends and family via e…

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