Quiz: how should you vote on the Alberta Separation Referendum (sponsored by the Alberta Government) - The Beaverton

Quiz: how should you vote on the Alberta Separation Referendum (sponsored by the Alberta Government)

The Referendum on potentially leaving Canada is less than a month away. And as part of the Alberta Government’s advertising campaign to inform Albertans on their options, the government has sponsored this to help people determine how to vote. We hope you will find it very helpful in informing your decisions.

1. 1. When you think of how terribly Ottawa has treated Albertans for the last decade, does it make you want to:
Puke
Scream
Dance a traditional Russian dance because you are a communist so you support the Liberal Party's actions
2. Unchecked immigration is:
Costing Albertans billions of dollars
A threat to our way of life
The best thing to happen since Pierre Trudeau's National Energy Plan
3. Mandatory vaccinations should be:
Banned
Banned, and its proponents jailed for life
Done to babies as soon as possible after birth, before their parents have had a chance to hold them
4. Alberta's Oil & Gas is:
A vital resource that should not be tampered with
The greatest substance God ever put on HIS Green Earth
Bad. At least that's what Al Gore and my bae Justin Trudeau told me
5. Our relationship to the U.S. should be:
Friendly Allies
As intertwined as two lovers in the moment after mutual orgasm
Daddy Carney says we need to disentangle. Can't we sell more stuff to a nice country like China?
6. Referendums are so fun right? Wouldn't you like to have another one really soon?
Sure
Every day and twice on Sundays!
Ugh. I hate direct democracy almost as much as I love abortions and Drag Queens reading stories to children
Quiz: how should you vote on the Alberta (sponsored by the Alberta Government)
You should vote to leave!
Much as it pains us to say, since we at the UCP strongly support a sovereign Alberta staying in a United Canada, but your answers suggest you want out. We hope we can all stay friends despite our disagreement on this issue.
Quiz: how should you vote on the Alberta Separation Referendum (sponsored by the Alberta Government)
You should vote to leave (and also do you own a gun?)
Look voting is cool. But if things don't go our way we may need to handle this another way if you get our drift. And you seem like the perfect guy (or girl, but probably guy) to join us. Come to our next meeting in a gravel parking lot outside a sporting goods store and find out!
Quiz: how should you vote on the Alberta Separation Referendum (sponsored by the Alberta Government)
You should get the fuck out of Alberta!
Seriously. Leave now. We don't want you here in a province full of real Canadians! I mean not Canadians. Real Albertans!