HALIFAX – Local Halloween enthusiast Mark Culvers’ latest costume, combining standup comedian Dave Chappelle and indie pop star Chappell Roan, was reportedly universally loathed at a recent house party.
Reports indicate that Culvers, 29, has previously annoyed partygoers with his pop culture mashup costumes, including Pete DavidSonic the Hedgehog, Ronald McDonald Trump, and “Slutty Barbenheimer”. However, eyewitnesses report that Culvers’ “Dave Chappell Roan” costume achieved new heights of awfulness.
“Look, the blackface is the most offensive part of the costume,” explained party host Tracy MacPherson. “But Mark kept going up to everyone and yelling ‘I’m a pink pony girl, bitch!’, which nearly managed to be more off-putting.”
Party witnesses report that Culvers spent the entire evening talking into a microphone, belting out the song “Feminominon” at full volume, and smoking Newports indoors.
“The worst part of Mark’s costume was when he would tell transphobic jokes, and then insist it was ‘okay because I’m a lesbian’, which is not how any of that works at all,” recalled shocked party attendee Rupinder Singh. “How does he keep getting invited to these parties every year?”
While 2024’s most ubiquitous pop culture Halloween costumes include Sabrina Carpenter, Raygun the Olympic breakdancer, and some sort of Deadpool, experts report that Culvers might be the only instance in existence of a Dave Chappell Roan outfit.
“We track these things every year, and yet we truly cannot fathom how a straight white man landed on this particular combination of celebrities linked only by a fairly sweaty portmanteau,” explained Dr. Samuel J. Loomis of McGill University’s Institute for Halloween Studies. “Though I suppose only a straight white man would have the gall to attempt it.”
Reports indicate that Culvers’ eventually left MacPherson’s party in order to enter a Costume Contest at Durty Nelly’s Irish Pub, though barely escaped with his Dave Chappell Roan costume intact after being booed offstage by an angry crowd.
Reached for comment, Culvers seemed obliviously confident about his Dave Chappell Roan costume’s reception.
“H-O-T-T-O-G-O, that’s why I’m Dave CHA-ppell Roan!” belted Culvers tunelessly before a passerby whipped a slice of pizza at him.
At press time Culvers is already sourcing a wig and a fedora for next year’s “Kamala Harrison Ford” costume.
