Staten Island, NY – The NYPD officers that have been stationed to patrol the crime scene where former Gambino crime boss, Francesco Cali, was recently shot and killed have grown tired of having to constantly ask oscar-winning director Martin Scorsese to stop hanging out.
“At first I was kind of star struck because I’m a massive fan of his work,” said Sergeant McMullen. “But then it just got kind of annoying. He kept trying to take photos and move around the lights forensics had set up so it would be more ‘cinematic’.”
While Scorsese is most well known for directing some of the greatest films of the modern era, he has frequently been spotted at various crime scenes. He once worked for the NYPD for six weeks until one of the officers recognized his voice from the film ‘Shark Tale’ and ripped off the beard the prop department of Gangs of New York made him.
“This is far better than the last crime scene I visited. That one was such a boring, clinical prison, with almost no thought for mise-en-scène,” said Scorsese, as he held a light metre up to the blood stains on the ground. “But this one has a real poetry to it. The juxtaposition of a mafia hit and bland suburbia is just fantastic. I think it really says something about the dark underbelly of the american dream. Plus I get to ride on the Staten Island Ferry, which is so much fun!”
In related news Robert De Niro was caught trying to steal several pieces of evidence as part of his research for his inevitable future role as Francesco Cali.
