Jordan Peterson has unveiled his “anti-woke” University: Peterson Academy. Which is definitely a real university and not just Conservative MasterClass. Being the curious intellectuals we are, we signed up and are here to report back on the 7 courses you absolutely have to take to broaden your mind, learn about the power of self-discipline and harness the power of couching hate speech in academic phrases.
5. Hegel’s Dialectic as Understood through the Carnivore Diet
German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel posited that only through constant consideration of the counterpoint to one’s arguments can one truly arrive at a synthesis of the proposition one wishes to advance. In this course professor @BigMace6969 takes the argument one step further by suggesting that internal reasoning is also advanced by eating 3 porterhouses a day.
4. The multi-coloured suit as ideological fashion statement
For months the internet has been wondering why Jordan Peterson has started dressing like if Batman villain Two-Face was a 19th century detective. Turns out it was all just a statement on how important fashion is to maintaining gender norms in a society determined to believe that men should wear dresses. You can be manly and comfortable and CIS fellas!
3. Monetizing Anger: The business of outrage in 2024
Things get a little meta in this tutorial by Jordan Peterson’s daughter Mikhaila, as she explains how to use podcasts, youtube and online seminars to grow your wealth on the backs of conservative fears of a changing world to an audience who paid 670 bucks to listen to it. No one in the live audience seemed to notice though.
2. Mind Colonizers: deconstructing the construction of the backlash to the backlash of the anti-colonization movement
In this can’t miss seminar eminent Professor and grandson of King Leopold II Charles Lipscum uses historical examples and out of context quotes to convince his audience that, actually, the people making us apologize for the colonialism our countries did are worse than the colonizers themselves if you think about it.
1. Plato, Nietzsche, Von Clausewitz and Kant: All agree that fat people are ugly and bad
Taught by the big man, JPete himself, this 8 part overview of the life and works of 4 of the most quoted and therefore best philosophers arrives at a stunning conclusion: fat people are bad and the body positivity movement is bullshit. After all, was it not Plato himself who said “No one is more hated than the man that speaks the truth. And the truth is that you need to go on a diet motherfucker.”
