by PierrePoilievreStan43
Listen up, you left-wing commies, my friends and I have been getting a lot of shit for exercising our God-given right to protest at Traitor Trudeau’s Belleville Lie-A-Thon yesterday, but I want you all to know that in the short time we were there, I personally saw him eat six babies! Checkmate, libs! Guess your “pro-choice” PM isn’t so keen on whether babies live or not after all!
After my buddy Darryl posted on our public Facebook group “Canadian Trump Voters Against Trudeau” that him and the gang were going down to Belleville to make sure that baby-faced clown wasn’t gonna try to take away any of Canada’s greatness, I knew I had to join — and it’s a good thing I did, because if not, who would have watched that criminal swallow those tiny infants whole, like a goddamn snake?
You know who told me he’d NEVER eat a baby? My boy Pierre Poilievre, that’s who. I had a beer with him last week and he told me the only people he’d eat were folks who didn’t respect the Canadian Second Amendment. That’s a real man right there. HE would never force the good people of Belleville to pledge allegiance to critical race theory, like Trudeau totally also did.
And I know that WE’RE the ones who are looking bad on Twitter right now because of what happened in Belleville, but what the lamestream media ISN’T telling you is that right after shoving those babies into his distended maw to the screams of everyday hard-working women and children, he dropkicked the head off of a statue of John A MacDonald and then promised that he would jail anyone who didn’t kiss the goddamn Chinese flag every morning! Yeah! He also had, uh, fangs, if any of you weak libs care!
Pierre cares. He called me after we got sent home to our moms’ yesterday and assured me that when he’s Prime Minister, Trudeau would be publicly executed via my method of choice, as long as me and my boys all voted for him next election. How do you vote, again?
Anyway, the next time you wanna go to one of Chairman Justin’s rallies, you cucks better hope I’m there to save you all from what he said he’d do, which is, um, sacrifice all the men in one of those “feminazi rituals” my Reddit support group is always warning me about. As my mom always tells me as she rocks me to sleep every night, you can’t trust a man with that many teeth still in his mouth.
Plus, Mr. Poilievre promised me that if we keep interrupting the events with unhinged, incoherent screaming, he’d give me a “Pierre’s Special Boy” badge. Fuck I want that badge so bad.
