Theatre-of-the-mind to be demolished for condominium-of-the-mind - The Beaverton

Theatre-of-the-mind to be demolished for condominium-of-the-mind

THE HUMAN PSYCHE – Despite numerous fundraisers and letter-writing campaigns held to try and save it, the longstanding theatre-of-the-mind, popularly known as the , is set to close next week in preparation for redevelopment into .

The mental space, which will soon be a condominium tower, currently sees use by people from all over the world as an escape from the drudgery of life; a place where one can experience anything from the childlike whimsy to untold splendor and marvel at the slightest prompting.

The human brain’s ability to visualize concepts was bought by Redding Acquisitions group in 2019 as a speculative investment.

Activists attempted to file an injunction against the demolition citing the space’s historical significance dating back to the time when people first traced images of game animals from memory onto the cave walls of Lascaux. But ultimately failed due to not having as much money as the land developers. 

Many who regularly use their imagination are sad to see it go. Amari Kazem, who runs a weekly D&D game for her friends, recalls fond memories.

“The was a really special place to us. We had so many great adventures and long nights of countless jokes,“ said Kazem, who like everyone else will soon only be able to conjure the static image of a condominium development in their mind’s eye. “I guess I can set my next campaign in a one-bedroom apartment. At least the battle maps will be easier to draw.”

Many experts point the finger at the blistering-hot mental market as the cause for the loss of the space. Dr. Kenneth Oswald, a research at the ReMax Centre for Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience, explains.

“Imagination is such a hot commodity right now and it’s basically guaranteed to hold its value as slow dystopian onset gradually snuffs out what little whimsy is left in our hearts. Suffice it isn’t the 1970s anymore, no one can afford to live in anyone’s mind rent-free.”

At press time, anyone trying to picture something in their head is instead being redirected to a 12-minute sales presentation for ‘pre-sales starting at $450,000.’