With home prices doubling in the last 5 years and increasingly divorced from the incomes of Canadians such that the real estate market has created a completely parallel universe devoid of anythin…
Tag: Real Estate
Kids play house by having their imaginary friend price them out of the market
EDMONTON – Eight-year-old Mason Wright and seven-year-old Olivia Glass have been busy playing house all afternoon by pretending to have their hearts set on a property, only for Mason’s imaginary …
Canada to ban foreign homebuyers who refuse to set up dummy corporations
OTTAWA – The Federal Government has announced sweeping plans to ban the purchase of Canadian homes by any foreign buyers who don’t feel like bothering to set up a routine dummy corporation.…
Economists worry sanctions on Russian Oligarchs may depress housing market to point where Canadians can afford to buy homes again
TORONTO – As Canada continues to impose sanctions on the Russian Oligarchs who prop up both the Putin regime and our overinflated housing market, economists warn this may cause a real estat…
Failed artist excited for career in real estate
VANCOUVER – Failed playwright Jacob Jones was gleeful today after passing his real estate exam. While Jones’ ambition to see his work premier on Broadway – or even at a local Fringe F…
Toronto unreal estate agent sells house for 5 kajillion dollars
TORONTO – On another great day for the local imaginary housing market, non-realtor Wendy Phan has sold a lovely 2 and a half story house for 3 kajillion dollars over the asking price. The p…
Theatre-of-the-mind to be demolished for condominium-of-the-mind
THE HUMAN PSYCHE – Despite numerous fundraisers and letter-writing campaigns held to try and save it, the longstanding theatre-of-the-mind, popularly known as the imagination, is set to close nex…
Childhood home sold to lovely young numbered holding company
BRAMPTON – Local family the Feldmans have recently sold their beloved 2-story bungalow to a charming, newly-incorporated holding company. “Our family made a lot of memories in that home,” e…
Toronto in chaos as combination Condo/A&W/Weed Stores gain sentience, overrun city
TORONTO – The downtown area is in complete chaos as Torontonians flee for their lives after the city’s omnipresent condos, A&W franchises, and marijuana dispensaries somehow coalesced …
Experts advise house hunting millennials to stop buying lattes and start forming exploitative development groups
TORONTO – After Core Development Group announced plans to buy a billion dollars worth of Canadian homes and convert them into rental units, financial advisers are telling millennials in the housi…