TORONTO – After saying that if it was up to him he’d keep class sizes at 5 kids due to the COVID pandemic, Ontario Premier Doug Ford was spotted pleading with his reflection to let him lower class sizes.
“You have to listen to me! 24-30 kids in an enclosed space in the middle of a pandemic is lunacy,” said Ford to the blonde haired, shark eyed man staring back at him. “Can’t we at least do virtual classes a couple days a week?”
“Why do you never answer me?!” he added as he pounded his fists against the mirror frame.
The government’s decision to return to full-time school with minimal restrictions has been met with criticism from teachers and parents alike, prompting Ford to demand revisions from the only person capable of ordering a change: the lifelike image of himself that lives in the glass and mimics his actions, only in reverse.
“Looks like there is nothing I can do. His mind is made up,” said Ford after a fierce 30 minute argument. Looking back over his shoulder as he walked away from the mirror he then yelled “where did he go?”
This is not the first time that Mirror Doug has imposed his cruelty over an objecting Regular Doug. In the past few years alone he has defunded hospitals, stolen from his late brother’s widow and cut Toronto city council in half solely out of spite.
However if the outrage persists Ford may consider taking the matter up with his mirror reflection’s boss: the reflection of himself in the tv when it’s turned off.
