WHITEHORSE – Following a series of failures, months of delays and technical problems, the city of Whitehorse is suing Bombardier over its new dogsled-based public transit system.
Transportation Minister Marc Garneau is quick to point out that, “Whitehorse needs Huskies, and it needs them now. We don’t care that the new dogsleds look European; Bombardier’s dog breeding division, mainly Chihuahuas and Dachshunds, is a disaster.”
The Mayor and citizens of Whitehorse are equally frustrated.
“The dogs pee everywhere,” said Dave, an angry local commuter. “We might as well have ordered a TTC Streetcar car if we wanted a urine soaked transit system.”
Another unsatisfied commuter, Brenda Hersh, complained about signal problems. “I heard a dog bark 512 Kipling, like what does that even mean?”
Bombardier has requested a second bailout from the government so they can install en route piddle pads, hire some pooper-scoopers, and breed Huskies equipped with power steering to complete the project.
But Minister Garneau and critics alike are asking whether Canadians should continue investing in Bombardier.
“Government bailouts, dog breeding, and leftover Santa sleighs from malls are the only things saving our business,” said Bombardier spokesperson Yan Lapointe.
Garneau went on to say, “We want to support Bombardier because they’re Canadian, but the Yukon has to sue. Boeing and Airbus can both give us dogs with wifi for the same price. I’ll admit, the viral puppy videos from Bombardier’s headquarters are adorable, but they haven’t increased ridership.”
“If they can’t deliver, we’ll have to tighten the leash on funds.”
