NEW YORK CITY — In his address to the United States General Assembly on Wednesday, US President Joe Biden condemned Iran’s violent enforcement of the country’s hijab law, saying the right way to …
Tag: United Nations
COP26 delegates promise to announce plan to cut global emissions 45% by 2030 in 2031
GLASGOW – The UN Climate Change Summit concluded yesterday with delegates from the representative countries promising to release a detailed plan to meet the much needed 45% emission cut by …
Disturbing UN prediction: by 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson
NEW YORK CITY- Representatives from the United Nations shocked the world today with the release of a damning report predicting that by the year 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson. “W…
UN names “Star Trek: TNG episode where Dr. Crusher bones the ghost that boned her grandma” humanity’s greatest cultural achievement
NEW YORK CITY, NY – The General Assembly of the United Nations has passed a resolution acknowledging the 1994 Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Sub Rosa” as the most important cultural achi…
Trudeau punishes UN by sending them most boring ambassador he could think of
OTTAWA – Following the UN decision to not give Canada the Security Council seat Justin Trudeau spent years campaigning for, Trudeau has responded by naming Bob Rae, the least exciting ambas…
Canada wins seat on UN Insecurity Council
NEW YORK – Claiming that they “will probably just fuck it up like we always do”, Canadian diplomats celebrated the country’s election to a seat on the United Nations Insecurity Council. “It…
Justin Trudeau UN speech hailed as ‘not Donald Trump’s UN speech’
NEW YORK CITY – Justin Trudeau once again shone on the international stage this afternoon after giving a speech to the UN General Assembly that critics and supporters agree was not Donald T…
Man clipping his toenails at work suddenly realizes entire rest of UN looking at him
GENEVA – After spending 10 minutes carefully cutting his toenails on his desk, Elbio Rosselli, the Permanent Representative of Uruguay to the United Nations, suddenly realized that the enti…
Justin Trudeau adjusts kimono, gently knocks at Ban Ki-Moon’s suite for after-hours meeting about UN Security Council seat
NEW YORK CITY–Following the Liberals’ recent push for a Canadian seat on the UN Security Council, sources have confirmed seeing Justin Trudeau waiting in a short, silk robe outside the luxu…
El Chapo chooses life in jail over five more minutes with Sean Penn
VICTORIA DE DURANGO, MEX. — Fugitive drug kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman ended his six-month run from the law this week, when he surrendered himself to Mexican authorities on condition t…