Justin Trudeau adjusts kimono, gently knocks at Ban Ki-Moon's suite for after-hours meeting about UN Security Council seat - The Beaverton

Justin Trudeau adjusts kimono, gently knocks at Ban Ki-Moon’s suite for after-hours meeting about UN Security Council seat

CITY–Following the Liberals’ recent push for a Canadian seat on the UN Security Council, sources have confirmed seeing waiting in a short, silk robe outside the luxurious hotel suite of UN Secretary General , his eyes showing a mixture of nerves and excitement.

“I asked him if he was alright,” said hotel cleaner Greta Lemieux, “And he just said he couldn’t wait to give Ban the most intimate, profound international diplomacy he’s ever felt show.”

“Then he sort of just bit his lip and brushed his hair out of his face shyly.”

Speculation about ’s campaign for the seat was heightened when came to light that a raspy-voiced, jaded-looking was heard urging the alluring yet innocent Trudeau over drinks to “make the most of that new PM capital while you’ve got it.”

“Look, if you want to be the best peacekeeper in town, sometimes you have to pay the piper,” the former PM and minister reportedly told Trudeau before taking a long drag from his cigarette, perched delicately between his fingers in a black plastic holder.

Trudeau was spotted practicing for the encounter by slowly crossing and uncrossing his legs and running an ice cube slowly down his bare chest.

At press time, the door had opened to reveal a glimpse of a record player and a bottle of scotch, with the faint strain of a solo saxophone floating down the hall as Trudeau stepped inside.