SAINT-LOUIS-DU-HA!-HA!, QC – Taylor Swift fans – or colloquially known as “swifties” – are reportedly not as fast as their name suggests. “9 mins a kilometer” states anthropolog…
Tag: Taylor Swift
Toronto commuter unable to tell if Taylor Swift gridlock has started
TORONTO – Local tax accountant Arthur Nowak has reported being unable to tell whether the city’s long-anticipated influx of Taylor Swift fans has begun, or if this is just regular Thu…
Republicans claim Taylor Swift part of vast liberal conspiracy to make Americans watch football
KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to …
The Beaverton Guide to Toronto for Americans who swiped all the Taylor Swift tickets
Congrats American Swifties! You guys managed to buy a huge amount of the tickets for Taylor’s only appearance in the entire country of Canada! You could have got tickets to literally any of…
Taylor Swift confirms Toronto is Canada’s Only City
TORONTO – Yesterday Taylor Swift announced plans to bring her Eras Tour to Canada with a 6 night run in the country’s only city. “I’m so excited to bring my show to THE ci…
Swifties single-handedly preventing US recession
UNITED STATES – With the US leg of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour about to end, economists are haunted because they discovered the ultimate easter egg – that Swifties has been single-handed…
BC Parks to improve campsite reservation system by partnering with Ticketmaster
VANCOUVER – In a bid to improve their online campsite reservation system, BC Parks has announced a new partnership with globally-beloved platform Ticketmaster. According to BC Parks spokesp…
Pierre Poilievre vows to hold Trudeau accountable for Taylor Swift leaving Canada out of tour dates
OTTAWA – After Canadians were left devastated yesterday to learn that Taylor Swift’s massively anticipated Eras international tour wouldn’t be making any stops in Canada, Conservative leade…
Ontario government replaces OSAP with Taylor Swift
TORONTO – After superstar Taylor Swift made a generous donation to support a fan’s tuition fees, the Ontario government has announced that the American singer-songwriter will now be the onl…
This year’s song of the summer just podcast about impeachment
TORONTO —- In what musicologists and pop chart analysts are calling an unprecedented trend, patterns in digital downloads, youtube views and online engagement all indicate that this year’s song o…