Caledon, Ontario – With a growing number of Canadians facing food insecurity in the face of rising prices, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. recently informed the nation that if Canadians can no…
Tag: prices
Nine percent rise in gas prices forces CEO to triple own salary
Irving, Texas – CEOs from oil and gas companies are suffering just like the rest of us, so much so that in light of rising inflation and “other stuff,” they’ve been forced to triple their y…
Trudeau assures Canadians that airports will be fine once rampant inflation makes flying prohibitively expensive
OTTAWA – Seeking to ease Canadians fears that our airports are becoming chaotic hellscapes, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised that soon inflation will make travelling so expensive that…
Affordable Toronto apartment only costs 3/4s of monthly income
TORONTO – Local English teacher Bob Kelly was overwhelmed to find an affordable apartment in Toronto’s west end. The one-bedroom walk-up located in the Parkdale neighborhood will only cost …
Scotiabank Arena says ‘fuck it, 18 bucks for a bottle of water’
TORONTO – Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs recently announced a change in policy in which they pledge to stop fucking around and unabashedly charge an obs…
Vancouver mayor won’t run for re-election because he can no longer afford to live in Vancouver
VANCOUVER – After ten years as Vancouver’s mayor, Gregor Robertson has announced he will not be running for re-election because he can’t afford to live in the city anymore. “I love Vancouve…
Rug store going out of business for realsies this time
WINNIPEG – Despite a decade and half of claiming that they are going under local rug store Sultan’s Rugs and Fineries has for sure filed for bankruptcy and are closing their doors at the en…