GENEVA – Several diplomats have disclosed to the international press their growing concern that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau continues to run his mouth about Putin as if he is obl…
Tag: nuclear
Roll up the Rim is back and so is the threat of nuclear winter!
VANCOUVER, BC – Canadians are in for a treat this week with the return of two beloved national pastimes: Tim Horton’s Roll up the Rim contest – and also worrying about the devastating outco…
Millennial taking spectre of nuclear war in stride
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Sources report thirty year old Caitlin Barnes is “pretty laid back” despite the very real possibility a single tweet could incinerate the world in a massive radioactive in…
Nuclear scientists move doomsday clock to “drinkin’ time”
CHICAGO, IL – In response to the new nuclear posture of the United States, along with the lack of evidence based decision making mechanisms in place, the members of the Bulletin of the Atom…
Hawaiians report end-of-the-world sex not romantic, just frantic, terrifying
HONOLULU — Following an erroneous mobile phone alert telling Hawaiians a ballistic attack was imminent, thousands of island residents are reporting that engaging in panicked, fearful doomsd…
Unhinged authoritarian son of privilege plans missile launch against same
WASHINGTON/ PYONGYANG — Reports indicate that an egomaniacal dynastic head of state with a tenuous grip on reality is planning to launch missiles at essentially the exact same person from a…
Local man’s hydro bill cut in half after agreeing to store nuclear waste at his house
KINCARDINE, ON – Finding no other suitable options, Ontario Power Generation has offered to pay 50% of local man, Fred MacKenzie’s, electricity bill as long as they’re able to keep waste fr…