OTTAWA – Militant Islamic groups from around the world have applauded Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s recently passed anti-terror legislation for chipping away at the Western-democ…
Tag: ISIS
Canadian special forces train Iraqis how to camouflage combat operations as training missions
BAGHDAD – Members of Canada’s elite JTF 2 are busy training Iraqi soldiers in how to disguise combat operations as training missions in a base outside of Baghdad. “We are teaching the Iraqi…
Ottawa man fighting for ISIS calls for lone wolf attacks, unless anyone wants to hang out
OTTAWA – The terrorist group ISIS has released a video of Canadian John Maguire calling on his fellow Muslim countrymen to carry out lone-wolf attacks, unless any of them want to grab a bit…
Everything fixed after Canadian forces in Iraq for 2 months
BAGHDAD – Despite worries from opposition leaders and high-ranking military officers that the mission would spiral well beyond its initial timeframe, the presence of Canadian special forces…
Canada to politely bomb ISIS
KUWAIT CITY – After receiving parliamentary approval to conduct airstrikes in Iraq, Canada’s CF-18s will bombard ISIS targets in a friendly and polite manner. “We know that ISIS poses a sig…
ISIS recruitment campaign targets angry gamers with promise of real life war on women
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Following the GamerGate controversy and the use of online bullying and threats of violence against female game makers and journalists, ISIS has begun seeking recruits i…
Harper to accept Syrian refugees who can prove no ties to Middle East
OTTAWA – At a press conference today, the Prime Minister announced plans to begin fast-tracking refugee applications from any and all Syrian refugees who can prove they’ve never visited the…
Boring Canada still has no Ebola: report
OTTAWA – Citizens are expressing boredom with the fact that Canada still has no cases of Ebola, a new report finds. “It’s good that we’re safe but Canada news is so boring. Just…
Tories allege Trudeau is ‘radical Islamist’ after Liberal leader buys, eats shawarma
MONTREAL — Minister of Public Safety Steve Blaney has accused Justin Trudeau of being a radical Islamist after the Liberal leader allegedly purchased, and consumed, a Middle Eastern dish kn…