SARNIA — Local pescatarian Chelsea Duke has vowed to taste the flesh of every known sea creature, and authorities warn that she should be considered armed and dangerous. “Ms. Duke is believed to …
Tag: fish
Dying uncle confesses the fish he caught wasn’t that big
CALGARY – In an effort to clear his conscience before he expires, terminally ill uncle of four Michael Grosberg has admitted to his family that the monster pike he claims to have caught in …
Goldfish purchased to teach classroom about mortality no longer really necessary
Whitby, ON – The goldfish that elementary school teacher Lenore Kerdwin acquired in order to acclimatize her students to loss has become irrelevant in light of recent events. “I thoug…
Fighting fish awfully aggressive for a Beta
COQUITLAM, BC – The residents of the Chung household were in shock last week as the most recent addition to their family, a fighting fish named Stanley, began acting hostile towards them de…
Point/Counterpoint: “There are plenty of fish in the sea” VS. “Actually, there AREN’T plenty of fish in the sea”
POINT: There are plenty of fish in the sea By Crystal Benjamin, best friend Hey, listen, I know it hurts. Right now you feel like you might never love again. But the truth is, there are plenty of…
Study: Niagara River fish have better access to antidepressants than most Canadians
NIAGARA FALLS – A new study released by the University of Buffalo has shown that the fish swimming in the Niagara River have free and unlimited access to a number of antidepressants and oth…