OTTAWA – After learning of the generous 75% tax refund received by Canadians who donate to a political party, the Chinese government has issued an urgent request asking for an Elections Can…
Tag: Elections Canada
Foreign spies only people still interested in Canadian politics
OTTAWA – After a damning CSIS report revealing efforts by Chinese spies to influence Canada’s 2019 election, a follow-up report by Elections Canada concluded that foreign spies appear to be…
Elections Canada concerned facts may interfere with federal election
OTTAWA – Elections Canada is issuing a special warning to all advocacy groups that they should not issue any scientifically verifiable facts during the election that would interfere with Ca…
Report: Probably still time to run for leader of the NDP if you get paperwork in
OTTAWA — While voting has begun as of September 18, political strategists report that they’re pretty sure there is still time for you to run for leader of the NDP if you complete and hand in the …
Series of squiggly lines on graph to determine swing voter’s choice
SURREY — A series of coloured squiggly lines presented on a neat graph will determine how many undecided voters will cast their ballot. Becky Lui, 27, is having a hard time determining whic…
Globe and Mail heroically defend country’s most vulnerable rich by endorsing Conservatives
TORONTO — In what is being called an act of steadfast principle to the nation’s vulnerable wealthy class, the Globe and Mail has endorsed the Conservative Party for the 2015 federal electio…
Deep feeling of weariness polling strongly in federal election
CANADA – A recent series of polls from Nanos and Ipsos-Reid show that a profound, crushing tiredness is still the federal election frontrunner. “While other parties have had their peaks and…
Tory scientists discover new base instinct to appeal to
OTTAWA – After years of research into the human species’ most contemptible tendencies, a group of Conservative Party researchers have come across an entirely new kind of loathsomeness to ex…
Elections Canada apologizes for long lines, offers voters complimentary ballots
OTTAWA — Taking responsibility for long wait times to vote, Elections Canada has offered all advanced voters complimentary ballots in addition to the one they’ve already cast. “We apologize…
Elections Canada recommends voters spend 5 minutes screaming into pillow each day
OTTAWA – As the nation enters the federal election home stretch, Elections Canada now suggests that any and all prospective voters take a few minutes each day to scream as long and loud as …