QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford won a commanding majority government this week when his Progressive Conservative party got almost half of the votes cast by the almost half of the ele…
Tag: Doug Ford
Doug Ford celebrates majority win by demolishing closest hospital
ETOBICOKE, ON — After his Conservative party was officially re-elected with a majority vote this evening, Doug Ford celebrated his win by immediately hopping in his car, tearing down University A…
Ford to execute first prisoner by using Ontario healthcare system
LONDON, ON – After Premier Doug Ford was recorded joking about bringing back the death penalty, he has since confirmed that not only will he follow through with the idea, but he is already …
Doug Ford points to study that bikes are primary cause of gridlock in apartment building hallways
Toronto, ON – Addressing the media today, Ontario Premier Doug Ford presented compelling new evidence that bicycles – not cars – are the main cause of congestion in apartment building hallways. …
Everything Doug Ford was happy to do without asking for a Mandate from the electorate
Doug Ford has announced Ontarians will go to the polls this February. Even though he is only 2.5 years into his current regime, Ford says he needs “a strong mandate” from the people t…
Doug Ford announces snap election with ballots printed on backs of $200 cheques
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Ford announced today that he will call for a snap Ontario election, conducted entirely via mail-in ballots which have been conveniently printed on the backs of …
Doug Ford gets second hat to clarify that he is still for sale
QUEEN’S PARK – Soon after debuting his “Canada Is Not For Sale” hat, Ontario Premier Doug Ford was spotted wearing a second hat to clarify that he is still very much for sale. “I was thrill…
Ontario passes bill allowing bike paths that lead to walls with tunnels painted on them
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford’s government successfully passed a bill today allowing municipalities to create bike paths throughout the province so long as they lead to a wall with the …
EDITORIAL: Why my cheque giveaway is great whereas Doug Ford’s cheque giveaway is desperate and terrible – by Justin Trudeau
Hello. It’s me, Canada’s most popular Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. Here to tell you all the good news – that I feel your pain. I don’t mean feel your pain in a literal …
Torontonians offer to let Doug Ford wear “Mayor” sash if he just leaves them alone
TORONTO – With Queen’s Park ordering the removal of the city’s bike lane infrastructure, an exasperated Toronto has offered to start calling Ontario Premier Doug Ford “Mayor”, thus satiating his …
