OTTAWA — With Canada’s upcoming legalization of marijuana, the Federal Government has reassigned dozens of former cannabis-sniffing dogs to work in various other ministries and departments.…
Tag: Dogs
Couple enjoys romantic picnic dead centre of park’s off-leash area
Oshawa, ON – Sid and Sandy Jackson got their fifth wedding anniversary off to a charming start by having a celebratory picnic right in the middle of the off leash dog area of Lakefront West…
New Jordan Peterson book asserts all dogs are boys and all cats are girls
TORONTO – Former University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson, known best for lionizing patriarchal structure, denouncing the existence of white privilege, and refusing to use gender neu…
Baha Men abandon multi-year investigation into who let the dogs out
NASSAU, BAHAMAS – After beginning a fruitless investigation into the identity of the person (or persons) who released 48 dogs from a Bahaman dog pound during a party in March 2000, internat…
Puppy Bowl suspends black Lab for sitting during anthem
SILVER SPRING, MD – Causing a row in what was supposed to be a jubilant culmination of this year’s adorable puppies playing season, Animal Planet officials at the Puppy Bowl have suspended …
Local man finds romantic success by texting unsolicited dog pics
KINGSTON, ON – Reports from yesterday evening have found that 26-year-old Tommy Freen has come across unprecedented courting success by switching out pictures of his penis that no one asked…
3 Adorable Dogs You Can Adopt Today Because They Irresponsibly Trapped Their Owners in a Hot Car
We all love dogs! But sometimes they will make the woeful mistake of locking the human beings that care for them inside of cars on hot, sunny days. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, …
Local dog spends weekend on couch binge-licking
KAMLOOPS – This past weekend saw Barkley, a Chocolate Labrador, spend nearly all of his waking hours on the couch, seemingly unable to stop cleaning his genitals with his tongue. The binge …
Paw Patrol investigated for sexist hiring practices
ADVENTURE BAY – Paw Patrol, a team of pups that save the day whenever there’s a problem, is under investigation by the Adventure Bay Human Rights Bureau for sexist hiring practices. Ryder, …
Adorable! Five puppies who are sick of being your emotional crutch
All puppies are cute. But these five have a certain je ne sais quoi that really makes them cry out “Stop making me the symbol of all the love you haven’t received!” Whether it’s their sweet, high…