NANAIMO, BC — The City of Nanaimo admitted today that despite being the place where its near 100,000 residents call their home, live their lives, and dream their dreams, those accomplishments pal…
Tag: chocolate
Health-conscious man only eats the Cadbury Creme Egg whites
VANCOUVER – Vowing to get back on track after weeks of dubious eating, 26-year-old UX designer Landon Renault reaffirmed his commitment to leading a healthier lifestyle by only consuming th…
Man slipping razor blades into Halloween candy feeling pretty lost this year
TORONTO – Local sicko Hugh Savarian, who’s been carefully sliding razor blades into candy for trick or treaters for the past 37 years of his life, has reported feelings of aimlessness…
5 Easter egg hiding places that demonstrate your tactical dominance over your children
Whether it’s lying about a bearded man breaking into the house every Christmas or repeatedly subjecting them to grisly reminders of their own mortality at Hallowe’en, the holidays are about one t…
“I don’t want foreigners bringing their weird traditions to my country,” says man hiding chocolate eggs to honour dead deity
ARBORG, MB – Local man, Edgar Harris, 42, took time out of his annual Easter holiday traditions today to clarify his stance on Canada’s immigration policy, stating that foreigners are ruin…
“I didn’t touch the brownies you left on the counter, Mommy,” claims chocolate-covered Andrew Scheer
REGINA, SK – Despite chocolate smeared all over his face and hands, federal Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer insists he has no idea what happened to the freshly baked brownies his mo…
6 money management tips from a toddler who just bought five Kinder Eggs
Hi! I am rich! I have five Kinder Eggs that I brought from the store. Do you want to know how to get enough money to buy fiveKinder Eggs? This is the most Kinder Eggs I have ever seen! I have a l…